Category: VAULT Humor

Want to keep your current job forever? Concerned that some out-sourced pimple faced teenager will replace you? Then you simply need to get creative about how you write your code. Having had to maintain other people’s programs… I can attest to the accuracy of this article. In fact, its my guess that most programmers must already be familiar with it, based solely on my evaluation of most program documentation.

…and I have GOT to memorize that Latin phrase.

Evidently having made a tie-dye tee, having considered legalization of pot, and having gone to college is enough to make me 32% hippy.

I am 32% Hippie.

I need to step away from the tie-dye. I smell too good to be a hippie and my dad is probably a cop. Being a hippie is not a fashion craze, man. It was a way of life, in the 60’s, man.

Take the
Hippie Test
@ FualiDotCom

Here we go. My Southpark character:

This really isn’t that bad a picture of me

You can make your own HERE.

Looking for that perfect gift? How about Pope Benedict XVI’s previous car? Its in German so you will need to use Babel Fish or something to translate it (did I mention that KDE has integrated Babel Fish translation?) It looks the the proceeds are going to charity.

I am sure everyone has already had enough of these “what xxx are you?” type quizes, but I could not resist this one. According to QuizFarm.com, I am:

Which X-Men member are You? Here is the breakdown:

Here is a quick test for everyone. Can you tell the difference between a serial killer and the inventor of a programming language? Its actually disturbing how similar they look! I got 8/10 but I knew a couple of them already… the inventors that is.

Newspaper Readership:

• The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
• The Washington Post is read by people who are elected to run the country. 
• The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country. 
• USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like their statistics shown in colorful pie charts. 
• The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn’t have to leave L.A. to do it. 
• The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and they did a far superior job of it, thank you very much. 
• The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country, and don’t really care as long as they ca n get a seat on the train. 
• The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the country, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated. 
• The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there is a country or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they are Democrats. 
• The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores. 
• The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

Heather needed to post some pictures for school, so I present to you Kessler’s Farm

Substitute President and Vice President with Commissioner and Assistant Commissioner; and you have my life. 

A chicken and an egg are sitting in bed together.  The chicken is smoking a cigarette and has a very content look on his face.  They egg is laying there all tense with a huge scowl.  The egg leans over to the chicken and says…

“Well, I guess we know the answer to that question!”